Finally, I am on my first blog. It has taken two years since I blithely put the intention in my Business Plan. Why is it so hard to start something new, especially when it is OUT THERE, for all to see one’s pitiful first steps? Some of the reasons, all to do with ego, are that I don’t know exactly how to do it, I am wondering if it will look silly and will it reflect what I really want to say? Will it even be read? At least it will encourage me to clarify my thoughts… mmm, even this is hard! As Oscar Wilde so famously put it: “How do I know what I think until I see what I write? "
I love my yoga and I love sharing
it with others. In this way we all grow, so what is this procrastination about?
I love the idea of writing. Why is it so hard to write about something I am
passionate about? Another part of the problem is that ideas “escape” and go off
in endless streams and riverlets. Yoga concepts are all intertwined, all part of an intricate system; complex yet
simple.
So here I am, feeling “stuck” in tamas, the guna of procrastination, indolence and sloth; putting the writing
of blogs in the “too hard” basket, while knowing that the longer I
procrastinate, the more I regret it. I really do want to do this and I will
have to take that first step, eventually.
Procrastination, not wanting to do the hard stuff, is
another word for avoidance; the art of being “busy” doing something else, so we
don’t have to think about accomplishing some task we know we “should” be doing.
But we’re so busy, we just can’t fit it in.
SHOULD is a red flag word. Should represents conflict
between an intention and a lack of action. Every time we use “should” we introduce
an undertone of guilt into the mind, creating a ripple of tension in the body.
A stressful tension, that is a waste of our precious energy. Being too busy is rajas, the guna of energy, creativity, dynamism and action. But it
is also the guna of restless, ceaseless energy that is fuelled by fear, anger
and doubt. Many of us are perpetually “too busy”- to eat well, to exercise, to take care of our
bodies, let alone find nourishment for the mind. We drive our bodies until they
drop of exhaustion – seek pills and potions or some other medical intervention
– to keep the wheels in motion. What are we avoiding? The fear of being lonely,
not needed, old age, death … but this is another subject.
Both tamas and rajas have positive and negative attributes
and both sides of the coin are necessary for health and wellbeing. While the
positive aspect of tamas is much needed sleep and regeneration, without which
we cease to function and eventually die, the negative side can result in
lethargy, disease and depression. Tamas is responsible for being stuck in old
habits, unable to change unhealthy routines and relationships; unable to move
on.
In the same way, it is necessary to have rajas to bring an
idea to fruition but often, once we have accomplished the goal, we are left
feeling unsatisfied, cheated of the feeling of elation we expected, continually
moving the goalposts further out. We work for years to gain a degree, climb the
corporate ladder, buy a house, a car, travel, achieve status, gain four
thousand “friends” online, yet none of these things brings more than momentary
satisfaction and the sense of peace and fulfilment eludes us.
The sense of peace and tranquillity, regardless of the
situation, is the attribute of the third guna, sattwa, the guna of peace, harmony, radiance, clarity and
enlightenment. Very few of us can attain this state on a regular basis. It is largely
the realm of the enlightened yogis and sages, but becoming aware of
the gunas and our default personality can help us evolve into a more
balanced, tranquil and healthy disposition.
All objects in the universe consist of various combinations of the three
gunas. Cosmic evolution involves their mutual interaction and transformation. Everything
from our thoughts, emotions, attitudes,
actions to the food we eat and the way we act is governed by the gunas.
Rajasic people are passionate, creative, frenetic, whereas
tamasic people are often gloomy, defensive, blinded by greed and self interest.
Sattwic souls are calm, wise, compassionate, centred and unselfish.
We can observe the gunas even in the way we breathe. It is
no surprise to find that in our restless, egoistic, Western world it is
estimated that 80% of us breath incorrectly with all the resultant energy
imbalances which lead to disease, anxiety and depression.
At the level of the breath, tamasic people have no conscious
awareness of the breath and feel no connection with it. Rajasic breath is
shallow and disjointed. There is a tendency to hold the breath when
concentrating or overbreathe. When we don’t fully exhale, there is no
possibility of a full inhalation, leading to mild toxicity around the lungs,
head and brain, and tightness around the eyes, jaw and tongue. As the diaphragm
is not being fully utilised, and this is connected to the heart muscle, the
heart can feel heavy and tense.
In a sattwic state the breath feels healing, nourishing,
calming. Breaths are even, balanced and uninterrupted and full, allowing the
body to move from the sympathetic fight and flight mode into the
parasympathetic relaxation mode.
In sympathetic mode the nerve receptors are dulled and the
muscles tissue becomes hard and tense, whereas in parasympathetic mode the body
relaxes and muscles become more receptive to subtle passive stretches of their
own accord.
Noticing how we are responding in our yoga class is a great
place to watch the gunas at play. If we are too tired to turn up, can’t be
bothered to get out of bed, or feel negative doing a particular asana, this is
tamas. On the other hand, if we push and strain to get into the right look and
achieve the pose by gritting our teeth, holding our breath and adding layers of
tension to the body, we are in the grip of rajas. On days then the practice
seems to flow effortlessly, we are experiencing sattwic energy. As we tune in
to the body, communication is flowing freely both ways between body, mind and
breath and all tension drops away.
Being busy is rajasic, and hiding the procrastination of
tamas in the busyness of rajas is not helpful. Am I fooling myself? Not at all.
Do I feel guilty for not getting on with it? Absolutely.
Putting something off could be deemed “going with the flow”
or obeying the Law of Least Effort but unfortunately it is also about
resistance and resistance is tension and putting tension into the body, brings
an equal resistance back, making the obstacle so much bigger.
Yet, how often have we have made a commitment to finish a
task, and sat down to get on with it. As resistance falls away, focus is honed,
energy flows, we find we are actually enjoying ourselves, the layers of
resistance give way to energy, creativity and commitment, until we suddenly
become aware that hours have passed, and we are actually in a state of
contentment. This is sattwa, the third guna; a light and spacious feeling, the sensation of being in
synch with our universe. `This is the state of “being”, rather than pushing
towards the goal of attainment. As yoga teaches us, there is never a beginning,
a middle and an end. Everything is cyclical and constantly changing. We only
have the NOW.
Postscript: I
finally finished this blog, but yoga had one last test. As I went to push
print, the words vanished and it all turned to a line of corrupted symbols. I
thought of the irony of writing about procrastination and having to start all over
again. To my credit I remained very sattwic (for an Aries) and summoned help.
Some time later and with advice from a friendly techno whizz, the words have
reappeared and you have the final version.
May your day be sattwic and may you breathe deeply of the
beautiful Universe around us
Namaste
Dharmavati
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